JET

So I am not going to work for Jet. I was pretty bummed out yesterday and cried a lot about it, because it always seems that no matter how hard I try, it is just not quite good enough. But now that I have had a night to sleep on it, and think about it a little this morning, my application really did not show that I wanted to be in Japan. I just want to be where my husband is, and since he is getting the interview, there is no guarantee that he'll get accepted either. But what a shame it would be if he didn't! I have two scenarios playing through my mind. We go back to Montana, I find work and start saving up for my plane ticket to Japan, and go and hang out and work part time jobs there. Just like David and Carrie, except reversed. It could be a lot of fun exploring a new culture. Scenario two: I stay behind in Montana and visit my relatives, and work. Considering that I've spent five years apart from them and six months apart from Michal, I could definitely do it and not be miserable. It would be a lot of fun to hang out with Pete and Mom, and go see Mary and Gabby. I'm even looking forward to seeing Helen again! I must be going crazy. Plus I could call Michal for free on skype whenever I wanted to. I could even go work for Nyingma if I don't find work in Montana, and explore Buddhism. In reality, a year is a very short time, and although I would miss Michal terribly if I decided to go the familial route, we would be fine. And think of the crazy sex we'd have when we saw each other again!

The trick for now, is to stay focused on the tasks that must be done, and stay positive about the whole mess. For there is nothing that I can do about any of it except have faith that it will all end well. My goal for each day is to be loving and kind to Michal, to eat delicious meals, and worry less about everything that we have to do. I don't have to do everything alone, because my buddy is with me. Sure, we have a lot to do, but we just do what we can each day, and whatever doesn't get done, we can leave to the next day. It makes no sense to get too stressed out over the small stuff, for we just do what we can, no matter what. And sometimes it's not enough, and that's ok.