I am 27 years old, and I don't know what I want to do with my life. I grew up thinking that I wanted to be an artist, but now that I see how the artists do it, it doesn't appeal to me. While being creative and making art is great, there are other aspects to it that I don't enjoy, such as marketing and the act of selling. I guess what it comes down to, I'm not a social person when it comes to my personal art, and therefore I will always struggle if I continue to think of myself as an artist. Because I use art as a means to express my inner feelings, it becomes very personal to me.
However, I do know that if I find a path of spirituality within my work, it will fulfill me greatly. I have a great desire to do something to benefit the world, rather than myself. Right now, the thought of being a therapist or a counselor of some sort is very appealing. To find a resolution to my past, to the unfortunate circumstances of my troubled childhood, and grow beyond it and create a beautiful future...isn't it normal to want this?
Whether this translates to being an art therapist, I am uncertain. I think that is definitely the position I witnessed while volunteering, and because of my own insecurities, I did not follow through to the end. While it sucks that I was a flake, I do feel it was necessary to evaluate my topsy-turvy emotions and resolve the pain I was feeling. It took a long time. I doubt that they would want me to volunteer again; and because I was so indecisive during my two months of volunteering, I didn't discover anything about myself. To be honest, most of the kids were fine, but there were a few whose anxious energy made me feel so uncomfortable. What could I say to those children whose anger is visible, to reassure them that this too, will go on?
I think it would be much easier for me to help with physical pain than mental. I can barely figure out myself, how can I expect to help others when I am so confused myself? The question still remains, what should I do with my life?
